To Shave or Not To Shave....

I'm so tired of waiting for the next clump of hair to fall out.  Everytime I turn around, literally, there is hair either on my desk, on my shirt or on the floor.  When i wash my hair clumps just fall out from the water hitting my head.  I'm terrified to look at my pillow and sheets every morning because I know I'll find a clump of hair there.  The mirror is NOT my friend right now. 

I really just want to shave it all off and be done with it but I'm worried about my husband and kids.  This is the first time they are going through this with me and none of us are really sure how the other feels right now.  Emma is worried that since I have diabetes and now alopecia that it's "going to turn into cancer" and I'm going to die.  Jon says he didn't marry me for my hair but I'm sure it's still going to be quite a shock.  I mean I had LOTS of long thick beautiful hair when we got married... and now.... I'm not going to have any.  How is he really going to feel when he looks at me?  I know he loves me for me and I know he's not going anywhere but it's still not going to be easy.  On one hand he says just shave it all off and get a wig.... then in the next sentence he'll say but if you shave it all off then people will know you are bald... I think they pretty much are going to know either way that SOMETHING isn't right.  Right now I've been wearing hats and scarfs all day everyday and already I can tell it's going to be a problem. 

The other side of this is my day job.  While I HATE the thought of having to wear a wig, I appreciate the fact that I do have a job in an industry where my coming to work bald might not go over so well with some of the clients.  It's none of their business really but the job does pay the mortgage! 

So.... I'm going to a wig boutique tomorrow afternoon to "look" at my options.  Basically my choices are 1) shave it all off and get a wig or 2) don't shave it all off and wait for the rest of it to fall out on it's own, look like I'm deranged and STILL get a wig!  LOL  Not much of a choice really.  I'm so frusterated with the whole situation right now....